McDonalds (Yes... this happened but please bare with me)

Has it really come to this?

I'm not sure if you can tell but I am a huge fan of burgers. They come in all shapes and sizes, served out of vans, in restaurants and even tuk tuks. With all this I can very happily say I've never stooped so low as to have a beef burger from McDonald's. Probably one of the few people to be genuinely in this situation and it was something I have always been proud of. A chain restaurant that emphasises: speed over quality, speed over taste, and ironically speed over good service. This is something that should never have broached my radar. 

This only occurred strangely enough on the basis of my Five guys review, it reminded me so much like a horribly expensive McDonalds that it dawned on me. I had never actually tasted a McDonalds cheeseburger, or any other beef burger they presumably grow from bacterial culture samples in their kitchens. So this journey took me on a very rocky road to possibly my cheapest burger to date. Regrettably, the review begins.

The Burger

I think what I had was a double cheeseburger. I also opted for some fries which set me back roughly about £2.50 which I rounded to £3 as I gave my change to a friendly homeless chap outside. I did ask for the burger medium rare. The level of confusion on the servers face was quite incomprehensible, only matched by my own confusion at having the audacity to have asked such a ridiculous and dumbfounded question. I know for a fact the burgers are all precooked and are simply hurled from their vacuum formed bags on to a griddle pan, gently drying out on top of several weeks worth of ingrained beef fat and MSG. As a result it's safe to say the burger was dry. 

Obviously my first point of call was the burger slice, however, with no cutlery provided it was quite difficult and I had to 'superman it' aka rip it apart, much alike Clark Kent ripping his shirt off to reveal an awesome superhero suit. I too ripped my burger apart to reveal a flattened bun, flaccid pickles, a dry burger patty and some sordid fake cheese leaving only a fairly hefty level of shame and self pity.

So that's the burger over and done with, there really isn't much else to say with regards to the tiny bun. It was soggy after having sat wrapped up in greaseproof paper for who knows how long. The one saving grace was a fairly large amount of pickles and yankee mustard within the burger as this was the only real flavour going on here. Thankfully I love a good pickle, unfortunately this was not a good pickle, but it was at least a pickle nonetheless. The cheese used was the classic rubbery plastic stuff that RRP's at about half of one pence per slice and probably contains no real amount of dairy. This type of cheese is most likely suitable for vegans it's such poor quality.

The Fries

Not salted at all. Which really surprised me as I was expecting them to have been annihilated in a 'day after tomorrow' style sodium chloride hail storm. This was a slightly pleasant surprise added on top a base level of moist soggy disappointment. Overall just something to fill a gap. Never a good outcome really when it comes to food. 

Overall

In general this burger tasted fairly poor and uses no amount of local ingredients and I can't even be confident they use anything of any reasonable quality to begin with. For the price I guess you can't complain too much but generally speaking I would rather not have eaten. The overall meal just looked sad. The burger reminded me of those RSPCA adverts at Christmas showing unloved and undernourished animals, much alike those poor things this burger too was vastly malnourished and need a loving chef to come in and restore some amount of integrity to it (if such a thing is even possible). The only positive I can say is that it was only £2.50 in total so I was expecting it to be bad. I do however stand by my prior statement that Five Guys is basically a more expensive and not that much better version of this, and at least it didn't leave the same gaping whole in my wallet.

2/10

McDonalds,

Somwhere in Norwich,

Actually does the address really matter?

They all serve the same vacuum 

packed stuff.