The Ribs of Beef

To the Pubs...

Now I'm starting to get the swing of things I'm going to branch out at start sampling some of the many unique pubs that Norwich has to offer, one that had always caught my eye was the ribs of beef. It is a perfect example of a good British boozer in a cracking location by the river, great anytime of year for a pint or two. A burger is almost certainly always on the menu of any good foodie pub so I thought I'd give my first official pub burger review to the ribs. Going purely on the reading of the menu alone it sounds like an absolute corker!

"Our 6oz burgers are handmade in house from traditionally reared 100% prime local beef! They are grilled especially for you when you order. Served alongside a generous portion of chips, your burger will be in a freshly toasted bun, accompanied by lettuce, onions, tomato, mayonnaise, dill pickle and homemade coleslaw"

Sounds incredible doesn't it? Almost like it could be the perfect burger. I firmly believe in local produce and showing off the best that Norfolk has to offer, and by using prime local beef, they immediately set this one up on a pedestal. So here's the question, did it deliver?

The Burger

So did it deliver? Well it was just about as good as yodels* courier service, for any non Norfolker, thats a no. What made the blow worse was the hype that was built up by such an incredible sounding online menu. Going in I felt like anything was possible, I love the pub and I so desperately wanted to love the food. But it was as disappointing as a hipster in a bar fight, it never had a chance, especially looking like this. The one positive is that it did fill a empty cavern in my stomach, but not the one in my heart. After weeks of planning to come here I can only show remorse and deepest sorrow for having dragged my dining compadre with me and subjecting him to the first world middle class equivalent of water board torture. Less of this and more with the actual burger then. What did I get and how much did it set me back, £7.95 for the burger and £2 extra for the chips. Now I've prolonged it enough, here's the photo.

I had asked for it medium rare to which I was told it comes how it comes. Not a good start as that suggested it may not be freshly made as the menu had suggested. As expected the burger slice produced a dry overcooked piece of beef not too dissimilar from my grandmas handbag. The health inspector would be thoroughly proud that such a piece of beef has been unable to unleash ecoli on another unwitting member of the public. Job well done sir and/or madam! The meat itself had a peculiar taste that at the time I couldn't put my finger on, but on reflection, I can now pinpoint it was old cooking oil. The sort of greasy taste you get from a burger van because they've cooked with the same oil for the last 12 years.  The pickles were a nice touch added to the burger, the vinegar cut through the strange oil taste quite well and for a split second I lost the image of a burger van outside a car boot sale. With regards to levels of seasoning I have no idea. Most of the time spent tasting was idling over in my head what that familiar unpleasant taste was. I opted for the 'old porky' with crispy bacon and cheddar cheese. The bacon was in no way crispy, a good reference I use for crispy bacon is it shouldn't be too far off a jacobs cream cracker. It should snap in the hand, much like a tweel in a more fancy restaurant. Ultimately it should be crunchy to add a texture element to the burger. The cheese was overpowered by the strange oil taste from the burger. As for the bun, it was soggy. Literally damp to the touch and the cracked top of the bun (zoomed in picture below) suggests to me that it was in fact frozen and microwaved before service. Was the burger frozen as well? Who knows. One thing was certain though, what came out was not what the online menu described.

The Chips

Now reading the online menu you will note that it comes served with a generous portion of chips, correct? Wrong. We were required to pay an extra two pounds sterling for the privilege of these bulk buy chunky chips. As a result I can't even take these into consideration The discrepancies between their online menus and the actual ones provided are once again apparent. They were very crispy which was bonus though I'm of personal opinion that the perfect chip to have with a burger is always a fry, preferably found in their plural, fries. A burger should already be a fairly heft lump you don't want that replicated with big chips. A burger meal is about compromise and achieving the perfect yin and yang balance between textures, tastes and structural sizes.

Overview

In a city with some great pubs and great burgers on offer, this pub certainly raised the bar on paper but completely missed the target when it came to the most important aspect, delivering a tasty burger. It is without a doubt a fantastic pub for drinking, and some of the other items of food on the menu did look nice. The staff were super friendly and offered all sorts of sauces and dips. Great service is something always worth commending. My advice would be to raise their game to produce a burger of equal measure to their other food, or straight up get it off the menu. I hate myself for doing this but I really can't find anything at all good about the burger other than the fact that it does constitute as a burger for providing the two basic elements; a minced beef patty and a bun. Considering the high standards of other food establishments around the city, in particular those I have already reviewed, if craving a burger stop here only for a hoppy aperitif or a malty post meal digestif...

1/10

The Ribs of Beef
Riverside Freehouse
Norwich
24 Wensum Street
Fye Bridge
NR3 1HY



*Yodel - An incredibly poor delivery courier service based in Norwich, having gained excessive reputation for not even attempting to deliver parcels or pretending they couldn't find your house.