Gonzos Tea Room

Does anyone actually come here for tea?

Gonzos, formally the grotty 'all night' night club Cartel which used to have sticky floors and grubby bed like things along the side where you could seemingly do whatever you want on without getting thrown out. Thankfully Gonzos is nothing like that, granted it's still a bit grubby but more in a retro hipster way. The entire place is an ecclectic assault on the sensations for anyone born in the pre naughties. Tagged alongside a comprehensive burger and wing menu, what more could you want?

The Burger

So I opted for:

'The Hab: Angus beef burger stacked with Montreal smoked meat, swiss cheese, American mustard and pickles'.

All for a not too badly priced £12.50. The only thing that ramps up the bill at this place is the fairly hefty price tag on drinks. I can deal with one over-priced pint along with a meal but anything after that then I'd move on to a pub.

As ever the burger was requested medium rare, I did get some sort of minor spiel about the chef covering himself and it had to be cooked through to ensure he doesn't break 'the rules' et cetera et cetera but he would see what he could do. When it actually came the burger still had a glimpse of pink coming through and boy oh boy did that make the difference. This wasn't my first visit to Gonzos, the first time, although still good the burger was cooked through completely. This time though with that extra attention to the cooking elevated the burger to new heights. The meat was so unbelievably juicy I literally could not contain it within the remits of my face. There was burger juice everywhere. Mixed in with the american mustard that seeped all over the place it made quite a pleasant dressing for the insane quantity of fries that come along with the dish.

I'm not entirely sure what the smoked meat was but it was a delightful addition to the burger. It ramped up the meat content and added a subtle salted and smokey way, similar to how bacon acts but less intense. I don't normally condone the use of swiss cheese for it's pointless non-existent taste but I do feel in this instance a heavy cheese would over overshadowed the delicate smoked flavours coming through. Maybe on this one occasion, a mild cheddar would be better as oppose to a rich mature cheddar.

Pickles and American mustard? Classic combo. Yank mustard is great because it only has a very mild mustard flavour so there is never a risk it will over power anything, not even a toddler.

The only point I could say was that the bun should have been toasted in attempt to lock in some of the juice and keep Mary Berry's soggy bottom at bay.

The Sides

There was so many fries. Very crispy and well seasoned. After eating the entire plates worth I didn't eat again for at least 12 hours, no exaggeration (Though we did also have wings as an appetiser). They seemed to be skins on as well. No one can complain at extra roughage. Whether or not they were homemade I couldn't tell I must admit. If they are, then advertise it!

The slaw was a damn good effort. Lots of crunchy veg and not too heavy on the mayo which is great. I like to be able to see the individual components of a slaw as oppose to just white gloop.

Overall 

Well done to the chef for sticking his middle finger up at the overly meticulous world of food preparation laws and actually sending out a burger (slightly) pink. For that you gain the merit and hopefully more people follow suit from now on and make the request. Granted the burgers here are generally good regardless (very messy, but good). A sound medium rare cooking would take this burger up to another level. Hopefully next time I can get it a touch pinker. With such a varied burger menu available I can appreciate the draw to keep coming back, in addition to the fact that they are generally one of the better burgers I have had around Norwich purely because there is no posh pretence. It is a good juicy burger and it will be messy. My one recommendation is don't come on a first date and do not under any circumstances wear a white shirt.

8/10*

Gonzos Tea Room

68 London St

NR2 1JT

*Based on my medium rare experience.

The Last Pub Standing...

The Last Pub Standing in Norwich?

Considering the vast amounts of pubs in Norwich I can confirm this is most definitely not the last one still open in Norwich. Like the name suggests though, is it good enough to withstand the harsh economical climate of Norfolk and compete with the great pubs of Norwich to be the last one standing? Let us join hands and find out. Firstly a little bit about this pub: it is somewhat of a pub jewel in an otherwise not very great part of Norwich (Prince of Wales road aka the legal red light district of Norwich). The pub has nice decor, good pork scratchings, a strange glass floor which can be quite confusing after the fourth G&T. It also has some sort of history of ghosts. I certainly had an eerie feeling the ghost of a health inspector was looming over me. Overall as a drinking pub it's pretty decent and well worth a visit for drinks alone. Am I called the drinksman though? No. I'm here to cross analyse every aspect of their burger to see if the pub is more style than substance. So let us begin, to the burger.

The Burger

Do I even need to say anymore that I started by requesting it pink? Well incase you forgot, I did. The menu is quite varied and at first it wasn't obvious to me that they even sold a burger, but here it is:

“KENTUCKY HOT MESS, You won’t find a tastier burger. Homemade, aged, prime rib pattie with crispy streaky bacon, Ementhale Swiss cheese and Kentucky Bourbon sauce, served with chips. Messy, but marvellous.” All coming in at £11.

Straight away I went in for the crucial cut slap bang down the middle. The results of the burger slice were disappointing considering I was allowed it medium rare. The burger was well and truly cooked through leaving a fairly chewy and dry burger. Strangely it also wasn't overly flavourful considering the spiel about it being aged prime rib. In addition to this it was also perfectly formed and looked as if it had been vacuum formed into shape. It states it's homemade but I could of sworn it was bought in, though I guess the chef could be very particular about crafting perfectly circular and even patties. Sometimes all this pretence with prime rib cuts blended is just wasted, just get some steak mince and pound it flat and fry it in house. I can guarantee it would be 10 times nicer. Rib meat has to be cooked slowly to render down the fat. When it is then made in to a burger it's flash fried under high heat with little fat so often just overcooks the patty. The bourbon sauce was very nice and did somewhat save the dryness a bit.

The emmental cheese was mild so didn’t really add much other than a slight creamy texture. As I always say with cheese, go bold. No one will remember a mild cheese over a punchy extra mature cheddar, don't compromise. Give the emmental it's P45 and hire some real flavour. Bourbon oak barrel smoked cheddar maybe for a Kentucky style burger? 

The bacon wasn't done crispy which would of improved things. It's a pet hate of mine when bacon is advertised as crispy and then isn't delivered. The pickles were strong and tasty though unfortunately it wasn't enough to revive the overall disappointing burger.

The bun was ok though didn't look great with a small piece missing on the side. Considering they weren't batch baked there wasn't really an excuse for it. Just limited quality assurance on dishes coming out of the pass.

The Sides

Overall the chips were good though due to being thick cut on occasion I got a particularly large one that felt more like I was eating roast potatoes. Though I will admit this is just my personal preference as I think fries work better since you can get them mega crispy for a serious texture blast. The one exception is the Orford Flat Iron steak house that cooks their chips three times and still can't get them crispy... somehow?!

Overall

Would I come here for drinks? Yes. 
Would I come here for food? No. 

The reason I firmly believe they fall short is because they are attempting too much. The menu is too varied over too many cuisines, it is a completely unachievable menu to successfully deliver (and yes I did try a few of the other dishes to make certain). It is a case of culinary cuisine quantity over quality. The list below is the extent of the cuisines available:

• Lebanese
• Israeli
• Greek
• Scottish
• Norwegian
• Indonesian
• Brazilian
• Argentinian
• Louisianan
• Kentucky
• Andalusian
• South African
• Portuguese
• Szechuan
• Hungarian
• Vietnamese
• Persian

It’s essentially like going to Cosmo but in a pub form. “Taste the world at the last pub standing” is their motto, well if this is what the world tastes like, travelling is overrated. The burger just fell short in the presentation, the taste and the cooking and really just needs more love and care spending on it.

3.5/10

27-29 King St

Norwich

NR1 1PD

The Recruiting Sergeant

I ventured further than I thought I'd ever go... 

So my travels have now finally taken me to the outskirts of Coltishall, now whilst this place isn't strictly in my area of reviewing after having received several comments and messages I felt a trip was needed. Obviously with this being out of walking distance from the city, a car is needed, which does somewhat limit beer drinking abilities. A beer is essential with a burger as it acts as both a digestif, an aperitif and a palate cleanser post meal. Therefore, perfect accompaniment. 

The Main Event

As per, ordered the Sergeant's burger at a reasonably hefty £13.95 (though everything on the menu is fairly pricey): 

"Sergeant’s 8oz Steak Burger with Streaky Bacon & Cheese in a Toasted Bun, Home Cut Chips, Salad & Coleslaw"

I requested medium rare as usual to which the server didn't even bat an eyelid. 'No problem' she said. Lulling me into a sense of meaty security that this was set to be a good meal. The aromas from the dining room were mingling nicely and really getting the appetite to a ravenous climax. Combined with the rich malty beer I was supping the anticipation for this burger was rising like a high tide at Gorleston seafront.

The burger came and after a very quick snap I cut straight to it, let's get this bad boy open and check the all important burger slice. To my surprise, it was cooked well done, very much well done. I don't think there was any attempt at cooking medium rare. This was unexpected because there was absolutely no resistance when I asked. Usually I expect a little bit of banter from the waiting staff when I ask medium rare and they clearly have no intention of doing it. We go back and forth with a bit of tit for tat regarding 'if the chef is happy to' and 'they'll see what they can do' which ultimately leads to my disappointment and a dry burger. So the cooking disappointment aside what was the actual burger like? Well as stated, it was quite dry and unfortunately very heavily seasoned throughout. It was so heavily seasoned that I couldn't really appreciate the taste of the steak burger, a shame when places do use steak mince. I would be surprised if this was even indeed a homemade burger, the dryness could have been a result of freezing and the highly seasoned taste did somewhat remind me a little bit of those thick Captain Birdseye atrocities you find in Iceland. It wasn't necessarily a salt/pepper on top seasoning, it was throughout the entirety of the meat. It is that which leads me to suspect they are not homemade. 

Moving on to the garnish. The onion came straight out, it was the tough plasticy outer husks of the onion which were piled on top of my burger, these were about as easy to digest as a piece of raw cartilage (if you happen to have ever tried that). The lettuce was decent chunks and fresh which did help to cut through the burgers taste. That alongside with a reasonable amount of pickle and a hefty amount of cheese (and good tasting rich cheese) really saved the burger somewhat.

The bacon was crisp though it's saltiness actually didn't help the ensemble given the state of the burger. The bun was sound, fluffy and warm and slightly toasted to lock in the runaway juices.

The Sides

Onion rings were solid. Fresh onion, great crisp batter, not claggy with a perfect crunch. Good effort on these and I didn't even realise the meal came with them so it was a nice little surprise on my plate.

The chips were homemade so I commend that. Personally for me they were a bit too thick so they seemed more like sad roast potatoes than crispy chips. I did sample some of their fries which were incredible so I would definitely swap out those girthy chips for a slender fry.

The coleslaw was ghastly. Utterly grim. I can't fully explain why as it didn't have that sour or fizzy taste that coleslaw usually gets when it goes off, it just had a very peculiar taste. I try not to complain too much in restaurants but this I had to as I was genuinely concerned. My tongue is adept to picking up all sorts of flavours, I could tell you all of KFC's eleven herbs and spices just from taste, in addition to which greasy kid spat in the batter mix. That said, the taste in the coleslaw stumped me. The second batch was the same as the first so potentially a batch gone wrong somehow? We will never know.

Overall

In general, the price of the dish warranted a better tasting patty, yes it may state steak mince, but the flavour just didn't back it up. Everything else in retrospect just aided to dull down the taste. This certainly wasn't the worst burger I've ever had but asking two crucial questions sums this up. Would I have this burger again? No. Would I recommend it to a friend? Most likely no.

3.5/10

The Recruiting Sergeant

Norwich Rd

Horstead

NR12 7EE

Byron Burger

Time to see if this upmarket chain can hold it's own.

Now I've never really heard of Byron burgers before they came to Norwich, I was just told it was a London thing by many of my chums who are from that region. Being a direct competitor for GBK and being positioned directly opposite on the Chapelfield plain, I was intrigued to find out how it compared. First thing I noted was that it's certainly priced for London, with a can of their craft brew setting you back £5.95. It packed about as much flavour as a can of soda water. If you're an avid beer fan, give this one a miss.

The Burger

So what did I have? As the BurgerMan I have to go big so I opted for the 'Double bacon cheese': Two 6oz patties, Byron cheese, bacon, pickles, ketchup and American mustard. All for a fairly hefty £12.50. After having looked on their website the burger does also have a notice that it contains sulphur dioxide (aka E220) as well, what a lovely addition. I've never known any company that says they make 'proper hamburgers' to consider E220 to be a 'proper ingredient'. Quite why a fresh burger would need preservatives in it I'm not sure and quite frankly at that price it should all be fresh. Enough of that and on to the actual taste. As per I asked for medium rare, which as stated by the tiny cocktail flag, was very much medium rare.

The meat was incredibly tender and very moist with a decent level of seasoning throughout, so hats off to the chef it was a well cooked slab of meat. Apparently they have a unique blend of cuts of meat for their burgers which adds to the flavour of them. Now I will point out here, in order to actually get a proper taste of the meat I did deconstruct it slightly to get a piece of the burger not smothered in cheese or mustard, but I'll get to that later.

Here we are then, later. The cheese: creamy, gooey and melts to instagram perfection. What a photo can't tell you though, is how little flavour it contained. It is supposedly a blend of cheeses to create a rich American style cheese. Creamy it was, to the point of claggy and I felt I had to chew on for several seconds even once the burger had ventured further down my alimentary canal. It left the mouth with something I like to call the 'Phantom Food Effect', whereby it seemingly leaves the mouth feeling as though it's still ram packed with cheese sauce even after you've swallowed. In my humble opinion American plastic cheese is never something that should be attempted to replicate and they would be better off using a combination of gruyere and cheddar cheese to create a rich creamy and most importantly cheesey blend.

So this intense creamy sauce was cut through with vast quantities of american mustard and pickles. To the point where it did overpower the flavour of the meat. Hence why I deconstructed to fully assess the burger.

Now on to the bacon, something that should be a highlight in a bacon cheese burger am I right? Well if it wasn't for the fact I could see a small strip when I was deconstructing, I honestly wouldn't have realised it was there. There was no real flavour to it and any there was was obliterated by mustard. The over indulgence of the cheese soaked up any crispness that it may have had in the beginning so it had little texture as well.

The bun was nice though. Very soft and fluffy. Could of been toasted though.

The Sides

One word. Pricey. I stupidly opted for cheesy fries with a tag of £4. These were smothered in that same uncheesy sauce so a once crisp fry ended up just being a bit soggy and limp after a few minutes. In hindsight I'd always opt for normal fries. 

Overall

If you like that crappy tasteless american cheese and fancy remortgaging your house in order to take your loved ones out for an overpriced mediocre burger that tastes not too dissimilar to 5 Guys then I'd strongly recommend this place. In total the meal cost £22.45 which is quite a lot considering the amount of places that do burger offers with drinks for 10-15 pounds. The meat itself was nice but was hugely overpowered in texture by claggy cheese sauce and in flavour by large quantities of American mustard and pickles. Unfortunately upsetting the delicate burger yin yang flavour balancing act. A bonus was it did come with a large pickle on the side which you can't go wrong with. Potentially the other burgers that don't have the cheese sauce or bacon on might be better, but I doubt I will venture back here to find out given how unimpressed I was with their signature dish. As much as I hate recommending chain restaurants, if I had to choose I would actually venture across the hipster filled courtyard and go to GBK, or go hungry.

5/10

Byron Burger

Chapelfield Plain

NR2 1SZ 

The York Tavern

The York Tavern

Situated in a cracking part of Norwich sits this traditional corner pub. With a fine selection of beers and a fairly decent menu this place is the perfect venue as a cosy winter pub or even a summer venue as it has a huge garden out back.

The Burger

Starting with the burger, the basic one starts at £11 so not a bad price. It was very well cooked and a tasty piece of meat which they were happy to cook medium rare. It was so moist and juicy it was literally dripping with prime beef juice all down my face. Thankfully napkins were provided in vast quantities. It would of looked horrendous on a first date with meat juices flying out everywhere all down my arm, but definitely worth it on a fourth or fifth date to test the waters to see if your partner is a keeper or not. Upon eating, the burger melted in the mouth, exactly why medium rare is so good, it required next to no mastication.

The downside with it being so juicy was the bun could not handle it, ideally it needed to be toasted to lock in the juice a bit more and stop it turning into a soggy mess. Speaking of the bun this was really the main let down of the towering beef stack. It was surprising quite stale and dry, as I went mid week I'm wondering if the bun was either left over from the weekend or frozen and thawed out. Either way I can guarantee it wasn't fresh, which surprising did have a big impact on the overall enjoyment of the eating. Thankfully the juiciness of the burger did counteract this slightly but a fresh bun would of elevated this moist beefy monstrosity to a whole new level.

The bacon came as an additional extra. Though it was very tasty and very crisp, it did cost a whopping £1.50 just for one rasher. I would of at least expected two pieces at that sort of price. The garnishes were classic which I enjoyed, tomato and lettuce. Added a all round freshness that cut through this meaty delight. The only aspect I think could of made this slightly better would be a touch of mustard or some sort of pickle just to add in that extra taste sensation.

The Sides

It came with coleslaw and chunky ish chips. The coleslaw looked homemade and I have to say was very nice. Not too creamy and still had a good crunch to the cabbage. Similarly the chips, though not homemade I don't think, were crispy and cooked well so again I can neither complain nor rave about them. They were just standard bulk bought ones but cooked well.

Overall

The main aspect of the dish, the burger, was incredible without a shadow of a doubt. The bun was a bit of a let down, which I did mark the bicycle shop down heavily for, but at least this one still looked presentable so not as bad. It could also do with some sort of pickle element as I mentioned before and I really think they need to assess their bacon rationing (pun intended) as £1.50 for a single slice is ridiculous, I don't care how well it is cooked. Weighing everything up though the pros outweigh the cons and the venue has a great atmosphere so definitely worth a visit, maybe just take a jar of pickles with you.

6.5/10

The York Tavern

1 Leicester Street

Norwich

NR2 2AS

The Bicycle Shop Cafe (Not a bike shop)

Something a little different

Time to go where all the cool kids hang out. Unlike the name suggests, this is not your ordinary bicycle shop. Mainly because it doesn't sell any bicycles. Disappointing for cyclists. They do however have a fairly decent selection of foodstuffs and cocktails. Great for the hungry people of Norwich. As a result of this place being a slightly hipster hang out there was no chance I'd be able to get a normal burger, the only one available was a pulled pork burger. I was quite glad about this considering the vast quantity of beef burgers I chow down on throughout the week. The one good thing about the bicycle shop is they do try to source local produce as much as possible, something that I firmly believe every restaurant should do.

The Burger

The burger was a BBQ pulled pork burger, served with garnish and twice cooked chips, totalling with a pint for around £14 which isn't too bad considering the amount of food on this plate. Ideally I wish I had of taken a photo with a banana for comparison as the plate itself was larger than normal, one our very own Alan Partridge would be proud of. The half and half presentation was primarily due to size and since I knew pulled pork could not be done medium rare I was quite happy with this method of serving. The pork itself had an incredibly rich smoky flavour with a good variation of moist and also slightly drier chewier pieces of pork. The two perfectly blending in the mouth to give a moist eating whilst still delivering on texture. I can't say exactly on what other spices were used but it kind of had a Caribbean BBQ taste about it. The amount of pork supplied was very good. When it comes to pulled pork burgers there has to be so much that it flies left, right and centre out of bun whilst you're trying to eat it. Not great for dates especially if you are trying to impress said courting partner. Even more so if they are a vegetarian as there is high chance they might receive a small amount of pork related friendly fire.

The pickles were excellent and of a substantial size, both in length and girth. Thickly cut and nicely tangy so when masticating you really do get a sharp hint cutting through the rich smoky meat. Topped with lots of fresh lettuce, tomato and onion which really took this up a notch and balanced the whole eating very well.

There was one thing which really did let the burger down. One of the core aesthetic aspects of a burger. The Bun. It was terrible. There was unfortunately no redeeming feature about it. When I turned the burger buns over to assemble my meaty tower I believe I found the real reason for the serving half and half. Most of the top of the bun was missing (see below rather unappetising picture).

It doesn't really scream "eat me!". More like "I was left over from the weekend and was frozen, then possibly got a bit freezer dry and thawed out really quickly, most likely in a microwave, so the instant heat on frozen bun turned resulted in a soggy gaping tear forming in the epidermis of the bun".

The Fries

They were really nice. A very solid effort and brought the whole dish up a notch. There is nothing worse than premade prepacked hydrogenated McCains homefries being served up alongside homemade burgers so to have twice cooked chips was a delight. Being twice cooked as well they had a serious crispness to them, the edge of which you could probably sharpen a dull blade with.

Overall 

The burger was balanced very well and was a good size, I actually couldn't finish all the chips. The pickle was large enough to cut through the intensely rich and heavily spiced pork and the fresh garnish really livened the party up. The only major let down here was the bun. The one thing pulled pork needs is a freshly, slightly toasted bun to ensure the pork juices remain locked in between that bready goodness. This unfortunately looked and tasted as though it was not. With a decent bun this could of been close to the 10 mark as everything else was spot on. With the dodge bread...

5/10

The Bicycle Shop Cafe

7 St Benedicts St

NR2 4PE

Maybe take your own bun?

European Special: Serial Burger, Prague

Their saying: "Meat is burger" and they couldn't be more right

Fancy a break from smoked ribs and goulash? Tucked away behind the backstreets in central Prague sits this very cool underground burger bar. Lured here by their sign from a distance, I couldn't refuse a venture down into their dimly lit hipster basement bar. The menu is reasonably small which is a good sign, with things like the "ultra bacon burger" and "Jalapeño and Habanero" burger making an appearance, you can't go wrong. They also had what appeared to be changing specials on offer as well. In addition they also do a 1250g Burger challenge for anyone that fancies it though you have to preorder a few days in advance. Crafting such a behemoth of a burger undeniably would take several days of hard back breaking meat grinding labour.

So what did I go for? I opted for the weekly special, because I am the burgerman and sometimes I have to push the boat out and dare to be more than just the average cheeseburger. It in fact was much weirder that the standard classic: 

'Deer and pork belly burger, served with tomato, romain lettuce, Viennese onion, Monterry jack cheese and a cherry chocolate sauce with homemade fries'

                                            

All that for roughly £8.50, depending on exchange rates. Having seen a crazy chef on masterchef roll a haunch of venison in cocoa before I naturally thought that this combo would work. Unfortunately it did just taste as though I was eating a partially cooked chocolate fondant encased in a super fluffy bun, with a mild hint of meat on the after taste. I got barely any taste of cheese, minimal taste of onions and overall it wasn't very pleasant. Imagine eating a half pound chocolate cake with garlic chips? Not a great combo. The burger slice did oddly give a pink result, which I wasn't expecting given the addition of pork belly in the burger. Once I'd scraped off the chocolate sauce and tasted the meat individually it was really moist and very tasty, just hugely overpowered.

Now you might be asking why I'm writing this telling you to visit given that my "special" wasn't that great. The special was poor granted, but the normal burgers off the menu where phenomenal. All pink without even asking, insanely crispy bacon, and some slightly 'out there burgers' like the boneless confit duck leg burger with braised red cabbage. It is unfortunate that I, the burgerman, happened to order the only poor item on their menu, but at least now my dear readers will know. I pushed the boat out and went there, so you don't have to. I'll take the metaphorical bullet so you can live on and sample excellence at its finest. The fries were also probably some of the best I've had accompanying a burger, with an option of salted, chilli or garlic fries and an addition of a selection of random sauces. I went for saffron infused sour cream with garlic fries. Crisp enough to blind someone should a rogue chip end up airborne in drunk arm waving rantings.

                    

Overall

If you're in Prague, go there! If the special burger sounds too weird, don't have it, it is probably gross. Stick to their proper menu which are all tried and tested and very very nice burgers. The venue is unusual and surprisingly quiet for a capital city which is nice to get away from all the hustle and vast quantities of worldwide tourists. It's reasonably priced too and has a fairly awesome cocktail selection available.

Travel away!