The Rivergarden

Jump in the canoe...

No joke you can actually canoe here if you wish. It is a short paddle downstream from the Red Lion pub which I believe hosts the pub and paddle. With this pub you can always guarantee an unusually mixed crowd of general labourers and post wedding party goers who all converge into one big weird boiling pot. It's trying to be upmarket (going off the price of a pint!) yet at the same time not really upmarket at all. The river is probably the main factor drawing people in at summertime, is the food as good as the river view? 

The burger

They only had one burger on the menu and at £12.95 I expected something fairly good. It was a bacon cheeseburger with a brioche bun. Everyone knows you can charge at least a whole extra pound for brioche.

The meat had a lovely chargrilled taste which was seasoned well and although they said no to going medium rare the chef once again agreed to cook it as pink as he would dare. There was a fleck of pink in the centre and it definitely could of been pinker but nonetheless the burger was still pretty juicey. It could easily of been eaten in date situations as my face remained reasonably burger free throughout.

There was a good amount of pickle which was needed to combat the chargrilled meat. Though it was thickly sliced and perhaps could of been improved with a daintier slice.

Alongside this the fresh salad was a nice compliment. The tomato was thinly sliced to reduce sogginess. It could of been dried slightly and seasoned to enhance the flavour and further reduce the sog but in comparison to other joints I've been to this was good. The onion was a bit too chunky really for a burger and it was quite harsh raw in such large chunks. It's safe to say when these fell out, I let them, and did not attempt a recon mission to reinsert them back into the bun.

The bacon was good. Of the streaky variety so full of fat and flavour and very crispy. This is the ideal bacon for burgers when crisp as you get maximum flavour and texture in one salty smoky hit. The cheese was of reasonable quality but just needed more of it. I got the odd taste here and there but not the assault on the palette that I like from cheese. When I make a burger I lattice the cheese in a six slice combo like laying the foundations of jenga. Or if grating then avalanche it over the burger on the grill until you can't see it. General rule, when you think you've added enough, add a bit more.

Brioche bun. What more can I say? Soft, fluffy, I wanted to lay my head down and sleep on it.

The burger came with a serious helping of sweet onion pickle. It was a great addition in the burger but made me wonder why the chef didn't commit and just put it in? It would of meant less waste as in reality only 10% of it was needed in the bun.

The sides

These chips/wedges (chepge) were actually very good. Slightly too thick to be chips yet too small to be a wedge. They come skin on so great for the bowels. They were lightly seasoned and had a great crunch. Normally I opt for skinny fries out and about but I have to say these chepges really nailed it for me. Possibly some of the best I've had for a while.

Overall

Great tasting meat. Moist. Good bacon. Needed more cheese (as I always say) and less raw onion. I would opt for very thinly sliced shallots if going raw or some water thin red onion if insisting on it. The only reason I would say the coach gets extra points is the addition of the onion ring into the burger. The meat alone I would say this is close to a 10. It was just the other components that let it down ever so slightly and the committal onion chutney. Still a good burger though and good enough to make all those that ordered a roast jealous with food envy.

8/10

River garden36 Yarmouth RdNR7 0EQ

The Coach and Horses... Again?

Take 2...

I know I have already reviewed this place but I just happened to be close by and felt hungry so naturally thought why not have a burger. Since my last visit the menu seems to have been updated and there is a few different burger options, so it seemed fitting. I wasn't originally planning on reviewing this burger as I have done one last year but without giving too much away, this burger truly deserved a review so I practically had to. 

The Burger

I opted for the CHB burger:

"Bacon, CHB beer battered onion rings, Monterey jack cheese and Black Anna BBQ sauce."

Burger Compadre sporting NCFC football shirt

So named because of the addition of the Chalk Hill Bitter battered onion rings that come in the burger. So let's dissect this whopper and get to the juicy details. And my Lord are they juicy. As usual I asked for medium rare, they didn't refuse but had to ask special permission. The chef wasn't keen but agreed to cook it as pink as he dared. I don't think he quite had his brave big boy pants on as there was only a speckle of pink here or there, but that said, it was still cooked really well so it didn't matter too much. Moist does not cut it. Juicy does not cut it. This thing seeped burger juice like there was no tomorrow. It would of made a great post workout isotonic drink what with all the protein and salts. It was a beautifully seasoned hunk of meat.

Perfectly balanced as the meat flavour still very much came through. Although there was a lot going on with this burger the overriding taste in a full bite was still the beef, the additions complemented but did not overpower. 

Let us delve into the additional extras that make up this towering concoction. Crisp fresh onion rings battered in Chalk Hill Bitter (possibly one of my favourite beers, check it out!) were balanced on the patty like a food lovers jenga. Fresh salad underneath cut through and added a subtle freshness, while the gerkin added a much needed acidity in this meatsrocity. The Monterey Jack cheese was strong enough to taste but not so overpowering as to throw the balance off with the other items. Usually I prefer a stronger cheese but weirdly this was enough combined with the salty bacon and the sweet sweet black Anna BBQ sauce. If there is anything that could ever make BBQ better, it's a damn fine stout mixed in with it. I am very passionate about Norwich and this burger screams it. Not only a Norwich micro brew pub, but utilising two different norfolk brews in the burger. Something us norfolkians should be proud of.

The bun is great. It's not one of your standard white baps you see in a dodgy layby or in a builders cafe but a proper bun any baker would be proud of. My one point is that it could of been toasted to lock in moisture just a tad more. Though whether anything would of held back that flood of burger juice I don't know. The burger consortium thought that toasting wasn't necessary but we will never know.

A potential to improve the tomato could be sliced thinner and potentially pre-seasoned and dried a touch to ramp up the flavour but that is clutching desperately at straws.

Sides

The chips were awesome as they always are. I am so glad this is a pub that stands by proper chips. The coleslaw is also all homemade as well and fresh. It really makes the difference when it's produced this way.

Overall

My only issue with the burgers are consistency of quality. As I've said I often come here and although the standard is always very good, sometimes the burgers are exceptional. Why I get some that are incredible and some just pretty good I don't know. Either way it's a decent situation to be in when the worst it can be is still pretty damn good. 

This was by far the best burger I have had in Norwich to date so a very well done! 

9.5/10

The Coach and Horses

82 Thorpe Road

NR1 1BA

Burger Van Bistro of Bucharest, Romania.

I have travelled. I have returned.

And what did I find in my travels I hear you ask? Burgers. Lots of Burgers. I normally stick to my full critiquing to the Norwich based burger venues but as a one off I thought I would write a small review to introduce you all to the Burger Van Bistro of Bucharest, Romania. If ever you happen to end up there, this place is definitely worth a visit!

The Burger

Juicy would be an understatement. This burger was so succulent it was dripping left right and centre and quite frankly I should have worn gloves. The meat itself was reasonably tasty though it could have been seasoned a touch more if I am being really picky. My personal favourite way of seasoning is actually basting with fresh butter on the griddle for the final few seconds. I do not want that in any way to distract from the actual cooking of the burger, as it was perfect. It was slightly crisp on the outside, perfectly soft and melt in the mouth in the middle and served medium rare as standard. The accompaniments for this burger consisted of freshly sliced lettuce and grilled onion, adding a nice freshness. The cheese was a standard plastic style creamy cheese which was basically just something to help the whole thing slide down the gullet better. The main star of this burger was the 'bacon' which turns out does not exist in Romania as this certainly wasn't bacon as we know it. It was a cross between cured salami and a frankfurter, slightly spiced and heavily smoked to add quite an extreme rich taste. Polished off with some classic american style mustard this was the perfect burger to cure a raging hangover after many cheap Romanian beers.

The Sides

Rosemary and thyme salted fries. And my god did they salt them. There was probably more salt on these fries than in the dead sea, if you dropped one in it would probably sink. This was the only real downside to the meal. I probably did need the extra salt as Romania was ridiculously hot and I probably sweated out half my body weight. Thankfully they had a mason jar of hipster cucumber water on tap which we drank nearly 5 litres of. 

Overall

The burger was sloppy, greasy, well-cooked and balanced well. Yes it was difficult to eat. Yes caused a huge mess. However, all the ingredients were fresh and for what we paid (not more than £6) it was actually really worth it. This is by no means a classy gourmet burger but it is certainly well above the standards of your everyday burger chef. In a way it made me think of 5 guys and what their burgers should taste like.

Just avoid the fries if you are dehydrated.

Gonzos Tea Room

Does anyone actually come here for tea?

Gonzos, formally the grotty 'all night' night club Cartel which used to have sticky floors and grubby bed like things along the side where you could seemingly do whatever you want on without getting thrown out. Thankfully Gonzos is nothing like that, granted it's still a bit grubby but more in a retro hipster way. The entire place is an ecclectic assault on the sensations for anyone born in the pre naughties. Tagged alongside a comprehensive burger and wing menu, what more could you want?

The Burger

So I opted for:

'The Hab: Angus beef burger stacked with Montreal smoked meat, swiss cheese, American mustard and pickles'.

All for a not too badly priced £12.50. The only thing that ramps up the bill at this place is the fairly hefty price tag on drinks. I can deal with one over-priced pint along with a meal but anything after that then I'd move on to a pub.

As ever the burger was requested medium rare, I did get some sort of minor spiel about the chef covering himself and it had to be cooked through to ensure he doesn't break 'the rules' et cetera et cetera but he would see what he could do. When it actually came the burger still had a glimpse of pink coming through and boy oh boy did that make the difference. This wasn't my first visit to Gonzos, the first time, although still good the burger was cooked through completely. This time though with that extra attention to the cooking elevated the burger to new heights. The meat was so unbelievably juicy I literally could not contain it within the remits of my face. There was burger juice everywhere. Mixed in with the american mustard that seeped all over the place it made quite a pleasant dressing for the insane quantity of fries that come along with the dish.

I'm not entirely sure what the smoked meat was but it was a delightful addition to the burger. It ramped up the meat content and added a subtle salted and smokey way, similar to how bacon acts but less intense. I don't normally condone the use of swiss cheese for it's pointless non-existent taste but I do feel in this instance a heavy cheese would over overshadowed the delicate smoked flavours coming through. Maybe on this one occasion, a mild cheddar would be better as oppose to a rich mature cheddar.

Pickles and American mustard? Classic combo. Yank mustard is great because it only has a very mild mustard flavour so there is never a risk it will over power anything, not even a toddler.

The only point I could say was that the bun should have been toasted in attempt to lock in some of the juice and keep Mary Berry's soggy bottom at bay.

The Sides

There was so many fries. Very crispy and well seasoned. After eating the entire plates worth I didn't eat again for at least 12 hours, no exaggeration (Though we did also have wings as an appetiser). They seemed to be skins on as well. No one can complain at extra roughage. Whether or not they were homemade I couldn't tell I must admit. If they are, then advertise it!

The slaw was a damn good effort. Lots of crunchy veg and not too heavy on the mayo which is great. I like to be able to see the individual components of a slaw as oppose to just white gloop.

Overall 

Well done to the chef for sticking his middle finger up at the overly meticulous world of food preparation laws and actually sending out a burger (slightly) pink. For that you gain the merit and hopefully more people follow suit from now on and make the request. Granted the burgers here are generally good regardless (very messy, but good). A sound medium rare cooking would take this burger up to another level. Hopefully next time I can get it a touch pinker. With such a varied burger menu available I can appreciate the draw to keep coming back, in addition to the fact that they are generally one of the better burgers I have had around Norwich purely because there is no posh pretence. It is a good juicy burger and it will be messy. My one recommendation is don't come on a first date and do not under any circumstances wear a white shirt.

8/10*

Gonzos Tea Room

68 London St

NR2 1JT

*Based on my medium rare experience.

The Last Pub Standing...

The Last Pub Standing in Norwich?

Considering the vast amounts of pubs in Norwich I can confirm this is most definitely not the last one still open in Norwich. Like the name suggests though, is it good enough to withstand the harsh economical climate of Norfolk and compete with the great pubs of Norwich to be the last one standing? Let us join hands and find out. Firstly a little bit about this pub: it is somewhat of a pub jewel in an otherwise not very great part of Norwich (Prince of Wales road aka the legal red light district of Norwich). The pub has nice decor, good pork scratchings, a strange glass floor which can be quite confusing after the fourth G&T. It also has some sort of history of ghosts. I certainly had an eerie feeling the ghost of a health inspector was looming over me. Overall as a drinking pub it's pretty decent and well worth a visit for drinks alone. Am I called the drinksman though? No. I'm here to cross analyse every aspect of their burger to see if the pub is more style than substance. So let us begin, to the burger.

The Burger

Do I even need to say anymore that I started by requesting it pink? Well incase you forgot, I did. The menu is quite varied and at first it wasn't obvious to me that they even sold a burger, but here it is:

“KENTUCKY HOT MESS, You won’t find a tastier burger. Homemade, aged, prime rib pattie with crispy streaky bacon, Ementhale Swiss cheese and Kentucky Bourbon sauce, served with chips. Messy, but marvellous.” All coming in at £11.

Straight away I went in for the crucial cut slap bang down the middle. The results of the burger slice were disappointing considering I was allowed it medium rare. The burger was well and truly cooked through leaving a fairly chewy and dry burger. Strangely it also wasn't overly flavourful considering the spiel about it being aged prime rib. In addition to this it was also perfectly formed and looked as if it had been vacuum formed into shape. It states it's homemade but I could of sworn it was bought in, though I guess the chef could be very particular about crafting perfectly circular and even patties. Sometimes all this pretence with prime rib cuts blended is just wasted, just get some steak mince and pound it flat and fry it in house. I can guarantee it would be 10 times nicer. Rib meat has to be cooked slowly to render down the fat. When it is then made in to a burger it's flash fried under high heat with little fat so often just overcooks the patty. The bourbon sauce was very nice and did somewhat save the dryness a bit.

The emmental cheese was mild so didn’t really add much other than a slight creamy texture. As I always say with cheese, go bold. No one will remember a mild cheese over a punchy extra mature cheddar, don't compromise. Give the emmental it's P45 and hire some real flavour. Bourbon oak barrel smoked cheddar maybe for a Kentucky style burger? 

The bacon wasn't done crispy which would of improved things. It's a pet hate of mine when bacon is advertised as crispy and then isn't delivered. The pickles were strong and tasty though unfortunately it wasn't enough to revive the overall disappointing burger.

The bun was ok though didn't look great with a small piece missing on the side. Considering they weren't batch baked there wasn't really an excuse for it. Just limited quality assurance on dishes coming out of the pass.

The Sides

Overall the chips were good though due to being thick cut on occasion I got a particularly large one that felt more like I was eating roast potatoes. Though I will admit this is just my personal preference as I think fries work better since you can get them mega crispy for a serious texture blast. The one exception is the Orford Flat Iron steak house that cooks their chips three times and still can't get them crispy... somehow?!

Overall

Would I come here for drinks? Yes. 
Would I come here for food? No. 

The reason I firmly believe they fall short is because they are attempting too much. The menu is too varied over too many cuisines, it is a completely unachievable menu to successfully deliver (and yes I did try a few of the other dishes to make certain). It is a case of culinary cuisine quantity over quality. The list below is the extent of the cuisines available:

• Lebanese
• Israeli
• Greek
• Scottish
• Norwegian
• Indonesian
• Brazilian
• Argentinian
• Louisianan
• Kentucky
• Andalusian
• South African
• Portuguese
• Szechuan
• Hungarian
• Vietnamese
• Persian

It’s essentially like going to Cosmo but in a pub form. “Taste the world at the last pub standing” is their motto, well if this is what the world tastes like, travelling is overrated. The burger just fell short in the presentation, the taste and the cooking and really just needs more love and care spending on it.

3.5/10

27-29 King St

Norwich

NR1 1PD

The Recruiting Sergeant

I ventured further than I thought I'd ever go... 

So my travels have now finally taken me to the outskirts of Coltishall, now whilst this place isn't strictly in my area of reviewing after having received several comments and messages I felt a trip was needed. Obviously with this being out of walking distance from the city, a car is needed, which does somewhat limit beer drinking abilities. A beer is essential with a burger as it acts as both a digestif, an aperitif and a palate cleanser post meal. Therefore, perfect accompaniment. 

The Main Event

As per, ordered the Sergeant's burger at a reasonably hefty £13.95 (though everything on the menu is fairly pricey): 

"Sergeant’s 8oz Steak Burger with Streaky Bacon & Cheese in a Toasted Bun, Home Cut Chips, Salad & Coleslaw"

I requested medium rare as usual to which the server didn't even bat an eyelid. 'No problem' she said. Lulling me into a sense of meaty security that this was set to be a good meal. The aromas from the dining room were mingling nicely and really getting the appetite to a ravenous climax. Combined with the rich malty beer I was supping the anticipation for this burger was rising like a high tide at Gorleston seafront.

The burger came and after a very quick snap I cut straight to it, let's get this bad boy open and check the all important burger slice. To my surprise, it was cooked well done, very much well done. I don't think there was any attempt at cooking medium rare. This was unexpected because there was absolutely no resistance when I asked. Usually I expect a little bit of banter from the waiting staff when I ask medium rare and they clearly have no intention of doing it. We go back and forth with a bit of tit for tat regarding 'if the chef is happy to' and 'they'll see what they can do' which ultimately leads to my disappointment and a dry burger. So the cooking disappointment aside what was the actual burger like? Well as stated, it was quite dry and unfortunately very heavily seasoned throughout. It was so heavily seasoned that I couldn't really appreciate the taste of the steak burger, a shame when places do use steak mince. I would be surprised if this was even indeed a homemade burger, the dryness could have been a result of freezing and the highly seasoned taste did somewhat remind me a little bit of those thick Captain Birdseye atrocities you find in Iceland. It wasn't necessarily a salt/pepper on top seasoning, it was throughout the entirety of the meat. It is that which leads me to suspect they are not homemade. 

Moving on to the garnish. The onion came straight out, it was the tough plasticy outer husks of the onion which were piled on top of my burger, these were about as easy to digest as a piece of raw cartilage (if you happen to have ever tried that). The lettuce was decent chunks and fresh which did help to cut through the burgers taste. That alongside with a reasonable amount of pickle and a hefty amount of cheese (and good tasting rich cheese) really saved the burger somewhat.

The bacon was crisp though it's saltiness actually didn't help the ensemble given the state of the burger. The bun was sound, fluffy and warm and slightly toasted to lock in the runaway juices.

The Sides

Onion rings were solid. Fresh onion, great crisp batter, not claggy with a perfect crunch. Good effort on these and I didn't even realise the meal came with them so it was a nice little surprise on my plate.

The chips were homemade so I commend that. Personally for me they were a bit too thick so they seemed more like sad roast potatoes than crispy chips. I did sample some of their fries which were incredible so I would definitely swap out those girthy chips for a slender fry.

The coleslaw was ghastly. Utterly grim. I can't fully explain why as it didn't have that sour or fizzy taste that coleslaw usually gets when it goes off, it just had a very peculiar taste. I try not to complain too much in restaurants but this I had to as I was genuinely concerned. My tongue is adept to picking up all sorts of flavours, I could tell you all of KFC's eleven herbs and spices just from taste, in addition to which greasy kid spat in the batter mix. That said, the taste in the coleslaw stumped me. The second batch was the same as the first so potentially a batch gone wrong somehow? We will never know.

Overall

In general, the price of the dish warranted a better tasting patty, yes it may state steak mince, but the flavour just didn't back it up. Everything else in retrospect just aided to dull down the taste. This certainly wasn't the worst burger I've ever had but asking two crucial questions sums this up. Would I have this burger again? No. Would I recommend it to a friend? Most likely no.

3.5/10

The Recruiting Sergeant

Norwich Rd

Horstead

NR12 7EE

Byron Burger

Time to see if this upmarket chain can hold it's own.

Now I've never really heard of Byron burgers before they came to Norwich, I was just told it was a London thing by many of my chums who are from that region. Being a direct competitor for GBK and being positioned directly opposite on the Chapelfield plain, I was intrigued to find out how it compared. First thing I noted was that it's certainly priced for London, with a can of their craft brew setting you back £5.95. It packed about as much flavour as a can of soda water. If you're an avid beer fan, give this one a miss.

The Burger

So what did I have? As the BurgerMan I have to go big so I opted for the 'Double bacon cheese': Two 6oz patties, Byron cheese, bacon, pickles, ketchup and American mustard. All for a fairly hefty £12.50. After having looked on their website the burger does also have a notice that it contains sulphur dioxide (aka E220) as well, what a lovely addition. I've never known any company that says they make 'proper hamburgers' to consider E220 to be a 'proper ingredient'. Quite why a fresh burger would need preservatives in it I'm not sure and quite frankly at that price it should all be fresh. Enough of that and on to the actual taste. As per I asked for medium rare, which as stated by the tiny cocktail flag, was very much medium rare.

The meat was incredibly tender and very moist with a decent level of seasoning throughout, so hats off to the chef it was a well cooked slab of meat. Apparently they have a unique blend of cuts of meat for their burgers which adds to the flavour of them. Now I will point out here, in order to actually get a proper taste of the meat I did deconstruct it slightly to get a piece of the burger not smothered in cheese or mustard, but I'll get to that later.

Here we are then, later. The cheese: creamy, gooey and melts to instagram perfection. What a photo can't tell you though, is how little flavour it contained. It is supposedly a blend of cheeses to create a rich American style cheese. Creamy it was, to the point of claggy and I felt I had to chew on for several seconds even once the burger had ventured further down my alimentary canal. It left the mouth with something I like to call the 'Phantom Food Effect', whereby it seemingly leaves the mouth feeling as though it's still ram packed with cheese sauce even after you've swallowed. In my humble opinion American plastic cheese is never something that should be attempted to replicate and they would be better off using a combination of gruyere and cheddar cheese to create a rich creamy and most importantly cheesey blend.

So this intense creamy sauce was cut through with vast quantities of american mustard and pickles. To the point where it did overpower the flavour of the meat. Hence why I deconstructed to fully assess the burger.

Now on to the bacon, something that should be a highlight in a bacon cheese burger am I right? Well if it wasn't for the fact I could see a small strip when I was deconstructing, I honestly wouldn't have realised it was there. There was no real flavour to it and any there was was obliterated by mustard. The over indulgence of the cheese soaked up any crispness that it may have had in the beginning so it had little texture as well.

The bun was nice though. Very soft and fluffy. Could of been toasted though.

The Sides

One word. Pricey. I stupidly opted for cheesy fries with a tag of £4. These were smothered in that same uncheesy sauce so a once crisp fry ended up just being a bit soggy and limp after a few minutes. In hindsight I'd always opt for normal fries. 

Overall

If you like that crappy tasteless american cheese and fancy remortgaging your house in order to take your loved ones out for an overpriced mediocre burger that tastes not too dissimilar to 5 Guys then I'd strongly recommend this place. In total the meal cost £22.45 which is quite a lot considering the amount of places that do burger offers with drinks for 10-15 pounds. The meat itself was nice but was hugely overpowered in texture by claggy cheese sauce and in flavour by large quantities of American mustard and pickles. Unfortunately upsetting the delicate burger yin yang flavour balancing act. A bonus was it did come with a large pickle on the side which you can't go wrong with. Potentially the other burgers that don't have the cheese sauce or bacon on might be better, but I doubt I will venture back here to find out given how unimpressed I was with their signature dish. As much as I hate recommending chain restaurants, if I had to choose I would actually venture across the hipster filled courtyard and go to GBK, or go hungry.

5/10

Byron Burger

Chapelfield Plain

NR2 1SZ